Sitting beside his studying table putting his consciousness in words for the first time. 5.00 AM completely and severely struck down by a viral, his face numb, his nose clogged, his eyes red and watery and his head so heavy that he felt as though someone placed a 10 pound brick in his head. But he knew this was not the Predicament that took his his mind and sleep away.For the first time he had the courage to face his consciousness.
3 years passed since he first joined the engineering college. He has a girlfriend, a group of priceless friends, a caring family descent academics, shining co & extra curricula-rs. Life seemed to be a breeze. But he still manages to find himself in a Predicament.
A fact about mans nature which i find very profound to understand on the basis of its need and existence is that a Man who has and savours a bounty, achieved or gifted still seeks for more. Even though he knows that what he desires might be more than what is necessary according to him.
Living with this fact he feels that his companions might interpret his thoughts as greed. To an extent even he feels that it is avarice. But deep within he finds it as a necessity
One wrong action is liable to detach your companions from you for ever, no matter how intimate you are with them. If a friend or a person understands your predicament it would only be because, some time in his/her life he/she might have experienced this very similar dilemma. But till today he is unable to find this friend and thus he resorts to words.
He knows that his Thoughts if put to action ( wrong or right decided by his consciousness and also his companions ) might breach the very foundations of his relationship with the person he loves, a friend he revers , and the friend who is always beside him caring and loving him.
But he is still willing to gamble. He knows that he had that same urge within him few years ago. He thought that he got rid of it .But the urge was dormant within him and now he is fully aware of its existence. He finds it difficult to characterize this urge, this necessity as good or bad. Aware of the fact that his urge has a definite chance of ruining his entire social life without which he cannot survive, he wants to take the risk .He knows that a feeling that might have been lurking within him, which was suppressed by anger and disappointment is on the rise again.
He prays and begs to GOD every day, to give him a sign or direction and he feels that GOD might have given him a direction which is against his urge, several times. But the urge persists .He is sure and he knows that Judgment day is imminent.
The calm resolve.
11 years ago
interesting post...very well put...gives a lot of food for thought....we all have our dreams...we all have our necessaries...but one who can balance it all...one who knows where to draw the line is the real champion...it depends on how you look at success....if it something which you want to have at any cost regardless of the social aspects...then its the easiest thing to do....but since it is coupled with balancing relationships...it is a tough game...i may not be able to understand since i may not be that friend who may have gone through all tht since u mentioned "the only one who can understand the urge or deeds which may seem to be selfish are the ppl who hav been in tht position"...i have not been...i have set my standards...and i try to live with them...i can relate the life of the blogger being on the line the way he has described as being "one small thing can take your loved ones away from you forever"...nevertheless great post...its nice to know that the blogger does think about all this...needs to be more vocal ...and it all boils down to it....i ll only say that the blogger has a choice...and how he chooses each moment will define him....and the circumstances...think good..think sensitive...
ReplyDeleteFirstly, welcome to the blogosphere...
ReplyDeleteA man is defined by his actions is what i believe... nothing is right or wrong... just a matter of perspective...
a simple way of knowing whether or not to do something - just ask urseld if say 20 years later would you regret not doing it?
if the answer is yes, then go ahead and do it...
thank you for the comments it means a lot.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to blogging world....My first reaction was is this a GRE exercise...man I forgot that there is still the harami inside kind of nerd u are tending towards.Wonderfully written..some shit moments make u do such things...I started blog purely out of boredom with shit in my life...but some really good thoughts there....There's nothing like right or wrong it's general opinion....abt being selfish I think everyone is selfish..there's no selfless act acc to me...sometimes we hurt people without knowing it...but forget all that...Whatever comes our way,whatever battle we have raging inside us,we always have a choice.It's the choices that make us who we are,and we can always choose to do what's right
ReplyDeletewelcome to the blogging world kizhakipachilmakol andu-gundu madhavan!! well frankly speaking, i never thought the blogger thinks about all this stuff. ya you are treading a thin line when you try to manage relationships along with that urge for success. but such are the situations which test your character. there's nothing wrong with that urge. nothing at all. but what price are you ready to pay for it is what you have got to decide. and being a wise guy i am sure the blogger doesn't need to be told about it. at the end of the day it's a personal choice
ReplyDelete