Monday, August 3, 2009


Sitting beside his studying table putting his consciousness in words for the first time. 5.00 AM completely and severely struck down by a viral, his face numb, his nose clogged, his eyes red and watery and his head so heavy that he felt as though someone placed a 10 pound brick in his head. But he knew this was not the Predicament that took his his mind and sleep away.For the first time he had the courage to face his consciousness.
3 years passed since he first joined the engineering college. He has a girlfriend, a group of priceless friends, a caring family descent academics, shining co & extra curricula-rs. Life seemed to be a breeze. But he still manages to find himself in a Predicament.
A fact about mans nature which i find very profound to understand on the basis of its need and existence is that a Man who has and savours a bounty, achieved or gifted still seeks for more. Even though he knows that what he desires might be more than what is necessary according to him.
Living with this fact he feels that his companions might interpret his thoughts as greed. To an extent even he feels that it is avarice. But deep within he finds it as a necessity
One wrong action is liable to detach your companions from you for ever, no matter how intimate you are with them. If a friend or a person understands your predicament it would only be because, some time in his/her life he/she might have experienced this very similar dilemma. But till today he is unable to find this friend and thus he resorts to words.
He knows that his Thoughts if put to action ( wrong or right decided by his consciousness and also his companions ) might breach the very foundations of his relationship with the person he loves, a friend he revers , and the friend who is always beside him caring and loving him.
But he is still willing to gamble. He knows that he had that same urge within him few years ago. He thought that he got rid of it .But the urge was dormant within him and now he is fully aware of its existence. He finds it difficult to characterize this urge, this necessity as good or bad. Aware of the fact that his urge has a definite chance of ruining his entire social life without which he cannot survive, he wants to take the risk .He knows that a feeling that might have been lurking within him, which was suppressed by anger and disappointment is on the rise again.
He prays and begs to GOD every day, to give him a sign or direction and he feels that GOD might have given him a direction which is against his urge, several times. But the urge persists .He is sure and he knows that Judgment day is imminent.